Things you should hide when company comes over

For all you moms out there... I came across this this morning and was laughing out loud, so I thought I would share.

by Linda Vujnov

• 101 recipes for a can of soup and a stick of butter
• Dog hair sculpture created by your children
• Parenting for Dummies and The Idiot's Guide to Parenting
• The pacifier your six-year-old still uses
• Sears Photo Studio 8 X 10 of yourself and your pet guinea pig from the early 90’s
• Pile of wet laundry that reeks of mildew from sitting for five days (maybe just run it through the washer again)
• The math homework you helped your sixth grader do that has a “D” clearly marked in red
• 14 cans of Spaghetti O’s marked “Dinner Monday, Dinner Tuesday, Dinner Wednesday ...”
• Residual goo in the microwave from a tomato soup explosion
• Stained throw rug you use to cover your stained carpeting (on second thought, maybe you should just leave it there)
• Dark circles under your eyes from falling asleep in your daughter’s toddler bed after she took over yours
• Treadmill that is currently a clothesline for your unmentionables
• Traffic violation you received for talking on phone while sipping hot coffee, applying blush and yelling at your kids
• The brown Christmas tree still sitting in your side yard
• Maternity shirt you still wear to the gym because it’s comfy The block of cheese in your refrigerator with holes where you dug out the mold
• The empty box of hair dye in the bathroom trashcan - that’s your secret
• Postcard from your dentist which states “We miss you! Five years is just too long.”
  
  Linda lives in Orange County, CA with her four children, husband, and dog. Her humorous book for moms, Spilt Milk, is now available at www.Zondervan.com and www.Amazon.com. Please visit her website at www.lindavujnov.com.

Underwear

I was about to post about something deep, but it just wasn't coming out right. Basically I felt that God gave me an extra measure of grace to deal with a difficult person the other day, and I was really grateful for that. But I didn't know what else to say about it. This is a person that all you local people know... who talks a lot... and has some other problems... but somehow God gave me the grace to sit down and talk to her for about an hour. And I wasn't even frustrated or annoyed. But that post wasn't coming out right.

So instead I'll write about underwear. It's amazing how important underwear is to a three-year-old. We bought Isaiah some new underwear the other day because he just didn't have enough pairs to get him through the week. It was a Disney character combo pack. There are Wall-E underwear, the Incredibles, etc. The funny thing is that now Isaiah wants to wear a certain pair of underwear. He's not ok with picking just any pair out of his drawer. So this has not exactly helped the laundry situation! If it was up to him, the would all be clean every day. Unfortunately, this is just not possible.

The other thing that cracks me up is that Isaiah feels the need to tell people about his underwear and show them (occasionally). He just gets very excited about it and is completely uninhibited about talking about it.

So we get some good laughs out of Isaiah's underwear adventures.

An unrelated side note... I learned today not to leave Sam unattended with mashed sweet potatoes. We were finishing up lunch when I checked Facebook to see if my one friend's wife had a baby yet (she did). But while I was away from the table, Sam smeared mashed sweet potatoes all over the table and his clothes including in between his overalls and his shirt. So Sam went straight to the bath after lunch.

Sam's first bubble bath

Isaiah slept over at Vern and Lorrie's on Sunday night. Since we just had Sam, when it was bath time we decided to give him a bubble bath. His reaction was mixed because he wasn't feeling that great. (He just had a runny nose and slight cough.) He kept trying to eat the bubbles and didn't like how they tasted. He also got freaked out when the bubbles covered his hands. He loved covering the toys with bubbles and washing them off. Anyway, here are some pictures.

My first mani/pedi

For Christmas my brother-in-law and sister-in-law gave me a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure at Nails by Diane in Evans City. I finally got around to using it yesterday. When Saturday morning rolled around, I wondered what possessed me to make an appointment for 8:30 on Saturday morning, but Dan made me some coffee, and I headed out. I was a little worried about the pedicure because my feet are kind of ticklish and I am kind of uncomfortable having strangers touch me.

But I got there, met the Thai couple that runs it, and chose my color: red. Then I sat down and put my feet in this wonderful jacuzzi bath with some sort of sea salt in it. She rubbed an exfoliating gel all over my feet and buffed them smooth. My eyes bugged out a little when she pulled out some metal tools like you'd see in a dentist office. They were in a sterilized bag, so that made me feel a little better. And the cuticule treatment and nail filing, etc really wasn't too painful.

The manicure went by pretty quickly. I feel silly even getting a manicure because I keep my nails so short. But I play piano nearly every day and just can't have long nails.

It was a very relaxing start to my Saturday, and I think I'll go back. =)

Mother's Day Tea

The tables looked so cute. This was my place. Isaiah decorated the bag that was filled with chocolate. Yum!

This was Isaiah's seat. They used the kids' fingerprints to decorate the flower pot. Inside two muffin liners was a picture of Isaiah. There was also some potting soil and flower seeds. Cute idea. Isaiah did NOT want to get his picture taken! Finally, a decent one (although I have an exasperated smile...)

They put together a class video, where the teacher asked them some questions. The first one was, "What makes your mommy special?" Most of the kids' answers related to their mom's cooking for them, playing with them, or something like that.

Teacher: What makes your mommy special?

Isaiah: God.

Teacher: God made Mommy special? Yeah. You're right.

Teacher: If you could give your mommy anything you wanted to, what would you give Mommy for Mother's Day?

Isaiah: Ooh. I know. A stuffed animal bear.

Teacher: Would she love that?

Isaiah: Yeah. She already has one from Daddy.

We had a fun time, and it's very sweet that he actually wants to have me at school with him. =)