Good ol' geo

There are advantages to owning the same car for a long time. I've had my beige, non-descript Geo Prizm for about seven years now. It's a no-thrills, get-you-where-you-need-to-go little car. In light of the recent snowfalls and questionable road conditions, I realized that I have been driving it so long that I am completely comfortable driving it in almost any situation. It handles pretty well in the snow, especially up and down our road and driveway. I actually have fun driving it in the snow.

Hey jealousy

Have you ever been jealous of something really stupid? I was leaving someone's house earlier this week, walking down their clean, dry concrete driveway, thinking to myself, "Boy, I wish I had a driveway like this." Then, after mentally smacking myself on the head, I thought, "What a ridiculous thing to be jealous of!" I have everything I could ever need. Sure, getting out of our snow/ice/slush covered little private road is, um, interesting, but we're ok. It's really nothing more than a minor inconvenience. We love our house and where it's located. If nothing else, my weird moment of jealousy reminded me to be thankful for what I have.

Sidelined

A few years ago at Eden we had a man speak in chapel who was the chaplain at LaRoche college. He was emphasizing that the kids should make good decisions by going to college and giving it their all, etc. He made a comment about girls who get pregnant during high school or college, outside of God's will, and how they're sidelined (on the bench, so to speak).

At the time, I was offended by the comment. How dare he say that a mom is sidelined. God can use anyone, right? Of course He can.

But now that I am a mom of two little boys, I kind of understand where he was coming from. I do feel limited in the ministries I can participate in. Not only would I have to bring my kids with me (and all their kid stuff - toys, changes of clothes, diapers, etc.), but their bed time interferes with most evening ministries. And if I take them with me somewhere, I'll spend all my time watching them and taking care of them, and what good would I be to the ministry? Can I go on a mission trip right now? No. Can I start some huge, time-consuming program? No. Although I like to think of myself as 100% available to God to lead me wherever to do whatever, I know that those places are pretty limited now that I have a family. Now, I know God would not lead me anywhere that would cause me to neglect my family, because serving my family is my calling in this chapter of my life.

I just see my present ministry as being a wife and raising and taking care of my boys. I hope God will take me on grand adventures later in life.

Be set free

There's a couple I know who are engaged, but she wants kids and he doesn't. The reason he doesn't want kids is he was hurt by his parents' divorce, and doesn't want kids out of fear that he would hurt them. I wish people could realize that they can be set free from their past. You are your own person. You will not and don't have to do the negative things your parents did. (On the flip side, you won't automatically do the positive things your parents did.) We are all responsible for our own actions, and we all have to be intentional about what we do. When you're cultivating your own marriage and raising your own family, it can be totally different than the one you grew up in, if that's your desire. On the other hand, if you loved the family you grew up in, replicating that can be a lot more difficult than you would expect. So if there's something in your past that's holding you back, make a conscious decision to let it go. If you ask Him, God will give you the wisdom to make good choices regardless of your past.

People come and go in our lives

We have the privilege of spending many years with some people; others maybe just a few months. Did you ever notice that as soon as someone leaves, you realize that you didn't appreciate them enough when they were around? I am definitely guilty of that. I tend to take for granted that someone is in my life at any given moment.

Also, it takes me a long time to make friends. Like, years. Usually after I've known someone for about two to four years, I might start to feel like I'm their friend. Unfortunately, I operate under the assumption that I have a long time to get to know people, and don't maximize the present moment with them.

So when I'm still in the slow process of getting to know someone and all of a sudden (so it seems to me) they say they are leaving, I am in shock, and it seems like they are being ripped away.

For those of you who know Blake, this is my good-bye Blake post, in disguise. (Don't forget, I am a very private person.)

So Blake, thanks for your willingness to lead our small group for the past two years. God brought you to us for a specific time, though it was much shorter than we would have had you stay. We already miss you, and you're not even gone yet. You leave behind a hole that will not be quickly filled.

I'm not a morning person

I don't function well until at least 9:00 a.m. If I'm up before that, I have to try really hard not to be grouchy. Anyway, this morning I woke up with a stiff back, pounding headache, and dry, scratchy throat. Add that to the fact that I'm not a morning person, and you've got a pretty grumpy person. Before I got up to take care of the boys, I just shot up a quick prayer: God, keep my attitude from being effected by how I feel physically. It worked! It's amazing what we can do with God's strength behind us.

As a little side note, I really admire those people who have a chronic physical condition, yet choose to be upbeat and positive. I'm sure it's a whole lot harder than we realize.

Don't knock 'em down

I love Mondays because Dan is home. Our Mondays are kind of like everyone else's Saturdays. But sometimes it is still hard to get good quality time together when we're at home. There are so many distractions, just chores and things we want to get done around the house. So last night I had the idea of going to the Children's Museum. Isaiah had a blast when we went in December with his preschool, so we went today.

So we spent a lot of time near the trains (big surprise...) and as I watched the kids playing with them, stacking blocks next to the tracks, I noticed something: it took them a lot longer to build a stack of blocks than it took to knock them down.

Then I started thinking that life is kind of like that. No matter what you're involved in, it takes a lot of time, energy, and thought to build up a program, small group, or whatever. In some cases, it only takes one negative comment, or one person quitting to just knock the wind out of everything you've built up.

I guess what we can take from that is a caution and an encouragement. Caution: be careful what you say. Don't criticize on a whim. To use a Mark Batterson-ism, criticize by creating. Encouragement: As difficult as it is, try not to let one incident drag you down. Instead, focus on the growth, the positive things going on in whatever area you've been working on.

I like you?

Isaiah's preschool class had their Valentine's party yesterday. So during his nap I did what any responsible mother would do: raided his goodie bag for chocolate! I found some Hershey's kisses, and on the little white paper it said, "I like you." What's up with that? Didn't they used to say, "I love you" for Valentine's Day? Since when did our concept of love become so twisted that now it's wrong to say I love you?

Aaaah.

This morning I got to take a long shower while Dan watched the boys, and when I got out of the shower, I heard the dishwasher running. Dan was cleaning up the kitchen! I came down and told him that having a nice morning like that was better than any old Valentine's present. =)

Sam

This is not about my son. It's about this great cooking guy. He has a show called Sam The Cooking Guy. For dinner tonight I tried one of his recipes, and it was really good and pretty easy! In his laid-back way, he inspires me to cook new things. So if you're looking for a little inspiration in the kitchen, check him out.

V-Day...

is overrated. I was talking to a woman the other day about anniversaries and Valentine's Day, and she said, "I have a great marriage, so we don't buy gifts for each other just for the sake of celebrating those days." I completely agree. Of course, gifts aren't my love language. Time is. But that's another blog. If gifts are your love language (or your significant other's) you better exchange gifts. I would much rather spend time with Dan than get gifts.

But I think sometimes women have unrealistic expectations of Valentine's Day and put too much pressure on the guys. Then the guys get too stressed and waste so much time trying to find the 'perfect' gift.

So let's just be thankful for the people we have in our lives (whether we have a significant other or not), and show love every day.

So, Happy Valentine's Day! (And guys, you can never go wrong with chocolate...lots of chocolate.)

Happy Birthday, Pap

Today is my pap's birthday. Do you think they have birthday parties in heaven? Probably not. I'm sure those things don't matter once you're there.

Let's be honest. Sometimes it's hard to remember all of our relatives' birthdays. But my pap's birthday was easy to remember. His parents named him Stanley Lincoln Focht for a reason - he was born on Lincoln's birthday!

Families don't usually gather for everyone's birthdays, for whatever reason. But we always celebrated my pap's birthday. We celebrated not only because he was the family patriarch, but also because, as he got older, everyone was thinking, "Will this be his last birthday?"

It was always one of my dreams and prayers that my grandparents would meet my kids. I have pictures of myself with some great-grandparents, and, even though I barely remember them, those are precious memories. I'm so glad that Pap got to meet Isaiah. They just loved each other. It makes me sad that he didn't get to meet my niece Abigail or Samuel (and any more to come - from Matt and Katherine's side, or eventually Jonathan's, not ours!)

So here are some memories:

This picture and the one below are from Pap's birthday last year, his last birthday here with us.

Happy place

Some days, having a two-year-old and a three-month-old can be pretty tough. But I realized something really good about their age difference. When Isaiah was little tiny like Samuel, we just wanted to play with him. We just wanted him to do something, anything! But now we have the best of both worlds: we have a fun toddler to play with and take places that we know will be fun for him, and we have a cozy little baby to snuggle with. It's a happy place to be.

Dreamy

I've had some weird dreams lately. One was really scary. I was at the mall with Samuel and Isaiah and someone snatched both of them. A bystander was able to get Samuel and give him back to me, but whoever took Isaiah was gone. I stood there not knowing how to chase after Isaiah and watch Samuel at the same time. Luckily, I woke up from that one.

In another dream, Isaiah was splashing his hand around in the toilet and then started sucking his thumb before I could stop him. Bleh!

It's like rain on your wedding day...

Does that show Biggest Loser make anyone else want to snack the whole way through it? Ironic.

Raising kids

I was talking to a woman the other day who is trying to get over the effects of being raised in a very negative environment. She told me that she tends be a negative thinker, especially about herself. As an adult she came to know Christ and was the first in her extended family to do so. Her husband has come to know Christ and they are raising their children in a wonderful, Christian home. She said she is trying to overcome her negative upbringing and keep in mind that she was created by Christ, wonderfully!

Here is what I took from my conversation with her: raising kids is an awesome responsibility. I know that the way Dan and I run our home and raise our kids will stay with them for their whole lives, whether for good or bad. It's so easy to be cranky and inconsiderate with the people we live with. But our kids are watching, so I just want to be a good example to them, encourage them, and build them up, all the while praying that they come to know Christ.

Motherhood and procrastination

Yes. The key to motherhood and curing procrastination are the same: take "I don't feel like it" out of your vocabulary (and completely out of your mind).
I'm a lifelong procrastinator. Just ask Dan. I leave things to the last minute, but I always come through. This is why, up to this point, proctastination has worked well for me. Lately, though, I think I'm getting smarter. I've realized that when I don't feel like doing something, I'm not going to feel any more like doing it just by waiting longer. And, the longer I wait, the longer I have it hanging over my head. It's very freeing to finish something. Just do it, and it's done!
Now, relating to motherhood. I have to do things all day long that I don't feel like doing. I no longer have the option to "not feel like it." Everyone is much happier and the house runs much more smoothly if I just do what I need to do right away.
So now you know how to get rid of procrastination. =)

I won't be able to walk tomorrow

because of my workout today. Actually, I'll be able to walk, but it will be painful. I went to a 30 minute killer class called "Core" this morning. It worked your abs, obliques, and back. Doesn't sound too bad, right? Wrong. I think we did about 1,876,453 various types of situps. And just when I thought I was going to keel over, the instructor said, "Ok. Let's go through that set one more time!" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I definitely pushed myself much harder than when I work out alone.

Maybe that's a good illustration of why we need each other. I've heard some people who follow Christ say that they don't need other Christians. They'd rather go on their own walk with Christ. I think being around other believers pushes us to pursue Christ harder than we would on our own. I've experienced this in my own life. I thoroughly enjoy stimulating discussions in small groups and Dan's challenges in his messages. I know they bring me closer to Christ and help me grow.