Good ol' geo

There are advantages to owning the same car for a long time. I've had my beige, non-descript Geo Prizm for about seven years now. It's a no-thrills, get-you-where-you-need-to-go little car. In light of the recent snowfalls and questionable road conditions, I realized that I have been driving it so long that I am completely comfortable driving it in almost any situation. It handles pretty well in the snow, especially up and down our road and driveway. I actually have fun driving it in the snow.

Hey jealousy

Have you ever been jealous of something really stupid? I was leaving someone's house earlier this week, walking down their clean, dry concrete driveway, thinking to myself, "Boy, I wish I had a driveway like this." Then, after mentally smacking myself on the head, I thought, "What a ridiculous thing to be jealous of!" I have everything I could ever need. Sure, getting out of our snow/ice/slush covered little private road is, um, interesting, but we're ok. It's really nothing more than a minor inconvenience. We love our house and where it's located. If nothing else, my weird moment of jealousy reminded me to be thankful for what I have.

Sidelined

A few years ago at Eden we had a man speak in chapel who was the chaplain at LaRoche college. He was emphasizing that the kids should make good decisions by going to college and giving it their all, etc. He made a comment about girls who get pregnant during high school or college, outside of God's will, and how they're sidelined (on the bench, so to speak).

At the time, I was offended by the comment. How dare he say that a mom is sidelined. God can use anyone, right? Of course He can.

But now that I am a mom of two little boys, I kind of understand where he was coming from. I do feel limited in the ministries I can participate in. Not only would I have to bring my kids with me (and all their kid stuff - toys, changes of clothes, diapers, etc.), but their bed time interferes with most evening ministries. And if I take them with me somewhere, I'll spend all my time watching them and taking care of them, and what good would I be to the ministry? Can I go on a mission trip right now? No. Can I start some huge, time-consuming program? No. Although I like to think of myself as 100% available to God to lead me wherever to do whatever, I know that those places are pretty limited now that I have a family. Now, I know God would not lead me anywhere that would cause me to neglect my family, because serving my family is my calling in this chapter of my life.

I just see my present ministry as being a wife and raising and taking care of my boys. I hope God will take me on grand adventures later in life.

Be set free

There's a couple I know who are engaged, but she wants kids and he doesn't. The reason he doesn't want kids is he was hurt by his parents' divorce, and doesn't want kids out of fear that he would hurt them. I wish people could realize that they can be set free from their past. You are your own person. You will not and don't have to do the negative things your parents did. (On the flip side, you won't automatically do the positive things your parents did.) We are all responsible for our own actions, and we all have to be intentional about what we do. When you're cultivating your own marriage and raising your own family, it can be totally different than the one you grew up in, if that's your desire. On the other hand, if you loved the family you grew up in, replicating that can be a lot more difficult than you would expect. So if there's something in your past that's holding you back, make a conscious decision to let it go. If you ask Him, God will give you the wisdom to make good choices regardless of your past.

People come and go in our lives

We have the privilege of spending many years with some people; others maybe just a few months. Did you ever notice that as soon as someone leaves, you realize that you didn't appreciate them enough when they were around? I am definitely guilty of that. I tend to take for granted that someone is in my life at any given moment.

Also, it takes me a long time to make friends. Like, years. Usually after I've known someone for about two to four years, I might start to feel like I'm their friend. Unfortunately, I operate under the assumption that I have a long time to get to know people, and don't maximize the present moment with them.

So when I'm still in the slow process of getting to know someone and all of a sudden (so it seems to me) they say they are leaving, I am in shock, and it seems like they are being ripped away.

For those of you who know Blake, this is my good-bye Blake post, in disguise. (Don't forget, I am a very private person.)

So Blake, thanks for your willingness to lead our small group for the past two years. God brought you to us for a specific time, though it was much shorter than we would have had you stay. We already miss you, and you're not even gone yet. You leave behind a hole that will not be quickly filled.